Being Postive
Amy Hill
By Samreen Gul, Srinagar, India
One fine morning on the 29th of April, 2021, at the time of Sehri (dawn), I woke up feeling chills. The knock from my body was overlooked by my brain. I ate properly, slept again, and waited for few hours to get better. Alas, I woke up to a bout of fever. I masked up, gathered my things, and shut myself in my room, marking the beginning of 16 days of self-isolation.
Am I positive? Well, this was the least of my worries. The concern was, did I infect others?
My throat started itching, the cold got worse, but my body did much better than i would have anticipated. I was still doing better. Four days passed since the initial symptoms, and I decided to get evidence in favor of my virus attack. I got tested with the Rapid Antigen method (RAT), and true to my prediction, I tested 'positive'.
Curiosity made me wonder, how did I get infected in the first place?
Having worked closely with COVID patients as a doctor for around three months, i knew the do's and don'ts. To add on, I was the only one infected in my entire family, owing to the timely isolation. I had taken all precautions possible, but the guard had been lowered at some point of time, I guess, leading to the infection.
I must say close vigilance is a must. I had come across the most severe cases while on being duty– parents losing their children, and vice versa. Here is one of the heartfelt free verse poems I wrote while seeing patients dealing with it.
The Agony
Lying in the hospital bed
with plastered arms,
suffering in his eyes
the fall from a balcony
did fracture his bones,
but not the desire to live.
With his wife and brother
by his side comforting him,
unexpected news and
a silent gloom fell over,
he had tested positive
for the corona.
Despite the pleas of staff,
the brother wouldn't let go
of the hand
the helplessness, the agony
sudden chaos was evident
swiftly distancing from the patient
people were being hawk eyed
and the family in despair
On the same day,
a frontline doctor now a patient
drowning in self-guilt,
watching over
his breathless mother,
febrile father in COVID ICU,
knowing he was the source,
the one who brought
it home and to them.
It was time to doff my gear,
the scenes of people
battling in and out
wouldn't leave,
but then for the coming few
days of self-quarantine
I had ample time for reflection
with just one wish in my heart
for this pandemic to be over soon.
After recalling the scenarios I had watched, I was in their shoes, but I was lucky enough to be having a mild disease. The sore throat started to alleviate by fifth day after the test. The oxygen saturation reached a minimum of 93 percent and improved over the time. I decided to go for re-testing.
Looking closely, the test line depicted the decrease in viral load. I knew the fight was over. I had survived this pandemic with little symptoms and being healthy.
The COVID-19 pandemic teaches us a lot. The 120-160nm small RNA virus teaches you more than our lifetime experience. A positive attitude while ‘being positive’ is key. Being empathetic and compassionate to anyone suffering make them feel better emotionally and mentally. Let's be in this together, and let’s fight it out.