A Moment of Epiphany, by Rahul S. Chatterjee, Shillong
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Born, raised, and currently living in Shillong, Meghalaya, Rahul says that while physics is his first love, he also spends time with broadcasting, voice-casting and photography.
I was returning from the local TV center after reading the evening English bulletin, something I’ve been doing for over two decades. The drive back not only has its frustrations in having to negotiate the bumper-to-bumper traffic through narrow roads and headlights shining into one’s eyes from approaching cars, but also has its share of joys.
Driving down from the hilltop, I always look forward to taking a glimpse of the city below, all lit up like sparkling diamonds studded on a clear, night sky. It always gives me a strange feeling, looking down to see the sky, but it also speaks volumes about how alive the city is. The view, along with my favorite music playing on the car stereo, always makes the drive downhill worth it.
Of course, on certain days, I prefer to see the spectacle in complete silence– no music, no company, just my thoughts and the awe-inspiring view of the expanse below. Astronomy has always had a very humbling effect on me. Theoretical physicist Richard Feynman put it very well, “I, a universe of atoms, an atom in the universe…” A pit-stop for a cup of coffee, and, while waiting for it, a look at pending messages on WhatsApp and a quick, energizing call to a friend, complete the return journey. This has been the pattern for the last few years. Today was different.
To ensure people stayed at home to prevent the spread of the virus, curfew was clamped on the city. Only those performing essential services could be out. For some reason, the lights were out in the entire city– not common, but not unheard of, either. The road that I have been driving down for years through erratic traffic, the associated honking and city lights, was eerily quiet, dark and empty. For mile after mile, there wasn't another car I could see on the road, not to mention another soul!
I’ve never seen it so empty and quiet. The feeling wasn’t comfortable at all. The emptiness made the road look unfamiliar. A strange doubt began to creep in. Am I on the right road? Have I lost my way? I was surprised how far the headlights lit up the empty road. I’d never got to see that before. But when the headlights fell on the pines and magnolias lining the road, they highlighted strange shapes on the tree trunks. Was my mind playing games with me, or was I truly alone? Where was everyone?
The only other sound was from the stereo in my car. Manna Dey's old Bangla songs were playing. When ‘Coffee House’ came on, the message of the song took on a completely different meaning for me. In 1983, Manna Dey recorded the song, capturing the golden late afternoons spent by seven friends at the Coffee House, sharing their stories of trials, tribulations, triumphs, joys, and disappointments. The song has a refrain, “aaj aar nei, aaj aar nei,” meaning, those days are no more, those days are no more …
The words hit me like a rock on my chest. I suddenly felt I was the only living soul on earth. What a scary thought! My mind raced, and flashes of the images of all the people I love rushed through– my daughter, my wife, my friends …
Once, when I was feeling unwell and was lying on my bed half-asleep during the day, my daughter, then all of ten, the bright, curly-haired angel in my life, came and gently put a warm blanket on me, careful not to wake me up. Precious memories like this rushed through my mind. Why couldn’t I see anyone? I thought of putting off the music but then decided against it.
Finally, the familiar gas station at the bottom of the hill arrived. The only place that was lit up. I stopped, called a friend. Never was I more thankful for all the people in the world. It’s crazy how loss– or the fear of it– triggers love. Epiphany.
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(This story was prepared for an “Imagine Another World” online storytelling workshop held December 12, 2020.)
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