Is Blood Thicker Than Water? by Dhaval Jain, Kolkata
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Born and raised in Rampur, Uttar Pradesh, and currently living in Kolkata, West Bengal, Dhaval is a civil servant who sees himself as boring in very interesting ways.
During the peak of COVID, I was working as a Municipal Commissioner of a major city. I was responsible for maintaining civic amenities for the people, including the crematoriums. At that time, we didn’t really know much about COVID and were overwhelmed by the research and different guidelines pouring in.
In the middle of this, the city experienced its first COVID-19 death. We were confronted by so many questions. Do we have a dedicated crematorium? Who would allow a crematorium near their house to be taken up for COVID-related cremations? Who will oversee the cremation?
Somehow we managed to find a crematorium slightly away from habitation. Then we had to worry about who would drive the hearse van that would bring the body to the site and handle the dead body in the electric crematorium. People were so scared, because the pandemic was in its early stages. I decided to visit the homes of a few municipal crematorium staff members.
I sat with them and their families and told them, “We cannot just turn our backs on people at this time, out of fear; we cannot just run away.”
What worked in our favor is that the workers felt proud, knowing they would be doing something very important. My visit motivated them, as their contribution was valued in front of their families. In this way, we got a few people willing to help with the process.
Then, we had to figure out when to pick up the body. The hospital where the body was kept was in a densely populated area. We wanted to avoid a lot of eyeballs on the scene, as that might cause anxiety amongst neighbors and so on. So we decided to go at night, quietly.
I called the family myself and said, “We have scheduled the cremation, so you may want to come and see your loved one for the last time. We will provide you with access from a distance so that you can do your prayers without touching the body.”
To my utter surprise, they said no. They continued to decline even after I told them that we would provide security around the hospital so they would not have to worry about being ostracized by the community.
When the time came, I knew that I needed to be there at the crematorium, to motivate the men working for me. My wife was scared, and I was scared too– I won’t lie about that, it gives me goosebumps even now, just thinking about it. Again, at the time, little was known. It was as if the pandemic were a monster descending upon us.
In traditional Indian culture, it is believed that only the body dies while the soul lives on. So it was up to me and my team to make sure the cremation was done right. We collected the sacred ashes, did the paperwork, and sent the death certificate and the ashes to the family. Afterwards, at around 2:30 a.m., in the dark of night, my phone rang. I was keeping it on loud just in case I received emergency calls. When I answered, I heard someone crying on the other end of the line. She told me her name, which I can’t mention to protect the family’s privacy, but I won’t forget it for the rest of my life. I realized she was related to the person who I’d just seen cremated.
She uttered just a few words, “Do you really think blood is thicker than water? God bless your team."
Since that first death, our hospital workers, our crematorium staff, our ambulance drivers, our sanitation workers, have worked their hearts out. Before, we never saw them, as if they didn’t matter; and suddenly, the pandemic made them visible to us, as the heroes they had always been, and still were.
This story has humbled me. It will remain with me always. We think our loved ones will always be there for us. And yet it may instead be complete strangers who stand by us, when we really need someone.
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(This story was prepared for an “Imagine Another World” online storytelling workshop held December 19, 2020.)
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