When Teenagers and Pandemics Coincide, by Tanvi Jha, Ranchi
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Born and raised in Patna, Bihar, and currently residing in Ranchi, Jharkhand, Tanvi is a loving, caring, selfless, honest individual who has been balancing out work and family for the past 15 years.
March 14-20, 2020: Destination wedding, family get-together, delicacies, crazy dancing and what-not!
March 22, 2020: Curfew and lockdown! The pandemic hits us.
Life took a full circle. The morning rush that I had been used to for the past seventeen years was suddenly replaced by lethargy and confusion over the course of events. My son and daughter gradually accepted that “going out” was NOT happening sometime soon. All corners of the house got converted into virtual rooms for online classes, meetings, and my lawyer husband’s virtual court.
During this time, my son turned thirteen. I started to notice behavioral changes, like being withdrawn, being hooked to the gaming console, getting argumentative at times, and also being emotional. I shrugged them off, thinking they were signs of hormonal changes and would lessen with time.
But the arguments also started getting gendered, with him making statements like, “I will not do this as it’s not my job,” and throwing tantrums at being asked to clean up his study table!
Since snapping at everything was becoming a habit, his father tried to reason with him but ended up getting angry and scolding him which further confounded the problem.
We thought that encouraging him to play an instrument would divert his energy and soothe his emotions. However, his enrollment in a virtual guitar class didn’t help much. I started to get worried.
Amidst all this, work was going on, and my organization started to support the Jharkhand state Education Department’s virtual learning in India program. As we developed gender focused audio-visual content, we were looking for children who could lend their voices. The audio-visual is a comic-based animation series, which touches upon gender discrimination, early marriage, and violence, among other issues.
I showed the comic strip to my son and asked him, “Can you help me out? Record the voice of one of the characters? I think you’d be good at it.”
He agreed. I gave him the script of a boy named Dinesh, who stood up against the gendered division of work at home, as well as at the community level. He read intently but didn’t comment. His voice was recorded, and he was indeed good at it. This was the first instance in a long time that I saw him taking interest in something.
Other changes also became apparent. His wet towel and clothes were now going in washing machine, the chocolate wrapper was not landing outside the bin, the plate was being removed from the dining table after meals…
After a few recording sessions, he opened up with me and shared that he had been missing his school life.
He said, “I miss my friends, and being in class.”
He confided that the constant disciplining at home was taking a toll on him. I realized my mistake and apologized. We chatted, laughed together, and the mother-son bonding was restored.
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(This story was prepared for an “Imagine Another World” online storytelling workshop held November 11, 2020.)
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